Nahilliam Truspear (via truornah)
So many people don’t realise how easy it is for us diabetics to give up. To not take our injections. To just not think about it. We have to work so hard just to keep our bodies going, to keep us alive. And then on top of that we have to conjure up the energy to live a ‘normal’ life. But as every diabetic would know, there is no normal for us.
About 5 times a day, a type 1 diabetic checks their blood glucose levels. That’s a prick of the finger, a test of the blood. 5 times on an average day. That’s 1,825 blood sugar checks times a year. And in the last 3 years I’ve had diabetes, I’ve poked my fingers and toes roughly 5,475 times. A type one diabetic taking insulin through a syringe would inject insulin roughly 8 times a day. 4 meals, 4 snacks and or correction doses. That’s 2,920 insulin shots a year. In the last two years, I’ve had over 5,840 insulin shots. But in the last year, I’ve been injecting insulin through a Medtronic pump, which I change the needle site the insulin is obtained through about 3 times a week. Which means I change the site needle roughly 121 times a year. I’ve been living with type 1 diabetes for the last 3 years. That’s roughly 5,475 finger pokes, 5,840 insulin shots, 121 site changes, 45 or so hours spent unconscious (not consistently) 15 or so hospital stays, and 10 or so emergency glucagon shots. 6 paramedics hovering over me in a hospital bed. 4 diabetic friends and or relatives. 2 scared to death parents. And yet not ONE person who fully understands. No one will ever completely understand how terrifying, frightening, living with type 1 diabetes can be. To be cut down everyday, little by little until there is nothing left. There is no strength left in me. I could skip every shot, every prick, every check, everything I need to do for one day. And I could fall apart. It could be so easily to give up. It is physically exhausting to try and fight to control something that constantly demands control on your life until you die. It takes much more to be on control and healthy than it does to let go and fall apart. To give up and be defeated. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart. And there’s not one part of me that cares anymore.